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I Choose Us: a Christian perspective on building love connection in your marriage by breaking harmful cycles

I Choose Us draws from the Scriptures, credible research, and the Louis' life experiences to build a strong case for the importance of having a healthy, vibrant marriage. It takes readers through the different phases of marriage and gives practical biblical advice about how to build Love Connection by showing real love and respect to our spouses. With the help of questionnaires, this books also gives valuable insights into unhealthy thinking patterns, called lifetraps (schemas). Rather than relying on ineffective communication and behaviour that invariably leads to the Vortex of Conflict Escalation, I Choose Us helps couples break harmful cycles, and avoid hurtful coping styles as they practice vulnerability and forgiveness.

I Choose Us draws from the Scriptures, credible research, and the Louis' life experiences to build a strong case for the importance of having a healthy, vibrant marriage. It takes readers through the different phases of marriage and gives practical biblical advice about how to build Love Connection by showing real love and respect to our spouses. With the help of questionnaires, this books also gives valuable insights into unhealthy thinking patterns, called lifetraps (schemas). Rather than relying on ineffective communication and behaviour that invariably leads to the Vortex of Conflict Escalation, I Choose Us helps couples break harmful cycles, and avoid hurtful coping styles as they practice vulnerability and forgiveness.

Love Lets Us Remain in Changzhou

"Of the places around Nanjing and Shanghai, we are most attracted to Changzhou," say this pair of American sweethearts.

The tall gentleman chose the name "???", and the charming young woman is called "???". A year ago, this young American couple made the long journey to become Middle School 24's foreign English teachers and have since completed a one year contract. Since exploring Chinese culture has been so pleasurable for them, they decided to continue with their foreign teaching career in Changzhou. It is now one month after the start of the new school year. Jeanne cleverly told the reporter, "Not only does the middle character I use in my name ('?') represent my interest in culture, but it reminds me that we are still studying and have more to learn. How can one year be enough time?"

They were able to come to China together because they share common interests. Benjamin tells this reporter, "When I was very little, my parents told me that if you dig a hole in the earth and keep digging, you'll dig all the way through to China." Because of the couple's interest in China, they took Chinese names for themselves in the classical tradition, hoping to be able to accumulate a lot of wisdom, and beyond this, to increase their knowledge.

Before he came to Changzhou, Benjamin had been a computer systems administrator. He had already spent time in thirteen U.S. states doing network administration. While of university age, Benjamin lived the life of a Jew in Israel. He had already had the experience of teaching Hebrew. As for Jeanne, after graduating from college, she did community work enlightening people about culture, race, and gender, emphasizing treating people with equality. This well-matched young couple, having known each other for two years, mutually chose China to acquaint themselves with Eastern culture.

"We like Changzhou because of its geographical location. This place is not a tourist city, and we are attracted to this typical Chinese tranquility and, yet, Changzhou is modern, and so it also meets our needs. We've made friends here from Liaoning, Shandong, Qinghai, Anhuai and other places. As a result of this, we have come to understand the culture of China's provinces and their various traits. This fact is especially pleasing."

How do these two youths communicate with their Chinese friends? Outside the gate of Number 24 Middle School there is a family noodle shop. The first time Benjamin and Jeanne went there, the owner and some customers were full of kindness and said that they wanted to be friends. If Benjamin and Jeanne needed any help, they said they would help them. Because nobody at the restaurant can speak English, the couple was forced to use Chinese for every exchanges. But Benjamin and Jeanne are especially happy about this because it makes their progress fast. The noodle restaurant is run by people of the Hui minority, so sometimes the couple are invited to join in special minority events. Their relationship is reciprocal. For example, Benjamin and Jeanne took the noodle restaurant's menu and researched it. After they finished trying all of the dishes, they brought a translated menu with them. The owner of the restaurant was very happy because now in this small restaurant people cannot but see things in a new light.

Now, perhaps you believe that the fact that this young couple leans strongly toward Chinese cuisine is still somewhat inconsistent. Jeanne is an earnest vegetarian, and Benjamin apparently is also mainly interested in vegetarian food. "In America, we have no baby bok choy, amaranth, bitter melon, or chinese chive dishes—American tofu is Japanese style—and what's more, we don't have dried tofu. Nor do we have another thing I love to eat—tofu sheets. Consequently, in China, I can accept vegetarianism much more happily than in America." Considering what Benjamin says, it's no wonder that they bring food home to cook and eat from time to time. Rumor has it that Benjamin's Hong Shao Eggplant isn't too bad. Sometimes, when they miss America, they go to a nearby Western restaurant and have a coffee and french fries. However, the best place for them to relax is the Tianning Temple restaurant, because, since everything is vegetarian, they can eat anything they see.

Although the two of them ardently love to travel, they seldom took trips during their first year, which spanned from their arrival in August of 2004 until the start of this new school year. But since they put everything into studying Chinese, they can now go anywhere in China on their own. At one time saying "one tea" but now saying "one cup of tea," Benjamin's Chinese has indeed improved. "Sometimes I can't remember a specific piece of Chinese vocabulary, but I can use my Chinese to describe it. For example, if I forget the word for 'cup' I can describe i

You have to understand: in the world where I grew up, "feminist" was an insult. Women were to be keepers at home, raising children, canning food, etc. It was expected that I wouldn't go to college, but would instead live at home until I got married, at which point I would begin to produce grandchildren. (This idea lasted until I was about 20, and, with no husband in sight at that advanced age, my dad concluded I'd better get some education or he'd be stuck with the care and feeding of me FOREVER.)
If this sounds quaint, archaic, and even charming: it was. Sort of. I spent much of my teen years convinced I'd been born into the wrong era, based, of course, on the clothes. I'm not designed to wear most of what was popular in the nineties and aughties. The New Look, on the other hand, pretty much works for me. Fifties clothing? It *fits* me. Paging through old fashion magazines filled me with longing to be back in that era, when men were men, women were ladies, and people wore hats.
Since I was raised with kind of fifties mentality for gender roles, it doesn't surprise me that I chose that era. (It was a toss-up between that and WWII, but all that rationing? Eh.) Phyllis Schlafly, with her tireless campaigning against the Equal Rights Amendment (because I mean really: why should women want to get the same pay as men when doing the same work??) was considered a heroine, and her monthly newsletters were duly read and digested.
But despite all that, I was taught to think for myself, to reason out ideas, to question authority, and above all: if I worked hard enough I could achieve anything I wanted to. So somehow, at some point, and I'm not even sure how, I turned into a feminist, firmly convinced that it's my responsibility to use my brain to the best of its ability, in or out of the home. I've become ever so grateful that because of the work of others, I have the choice of staying home and having babies, working outside the home, running my own business. I can vote. I can own property. These are not small matters.
And what does all this have to do with clothes? Well, I've changed my mind. Don't get me wrong: I still love my vintage (the dress in the picture is from the fifties, and I've had it for a good 8 years. LOVE.), but I also now look at the pictures from that era with a different eye. Everyone looked the same. Yes, they all looked beautiful, but almost inevitably, everyone wore the same style of dress, similar hats, the same suit. And today? Today if I want to go out in a fifties dress with sixties glasses, eighties earrings, and new shoes, I can. Yes, people will think I look funny, but no sillier than the guy with his pants falling off.
I guess what it comes down to is: I have choices now. I wouldn't trade my time in history for anything.

The eager fan of Pokemon or those curious of the phenomenon will want to get their hands on this first video. This volume includes three TV episodes "Pokemon, I Choose You!," "Pokemon Emergency!" and "Ash Catches a Pokemon," this DVD is guaranteed to please anyone who's caught up in the Pokemon phenomenon. In the Pokemon world, 10-year-olds acquire their Pokemon training license and begin their quest to catch, train, and fight these adorable creatures--all 151 of them! Our enthusiastic hero, Ash Ketchum, is determined and intensely eager to become the best Pokemon trainer in the world! Ash's closest Pokemon is the lovable Pikachu, who helps Ash fight other Pokemon and accompanies him on his quest. In these three episodes Ash meets Misty, his future traveling companion and friend, and the two of them combat Team Rocket, who will always be their arch enemy. This video includes the full-length "Pokerap," in which all 150 Pokemon are described. Followed by The Mystery of Mount Moon. --Samantha Allen Storey

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